Freedom, Choice, and the Pain of Unreturned Love

Among the most touching human stories from the early days of Islam is the story of Bareerah (RA), a woman of courage and dignity and her husband Mugheeth, whose deep love for her became a symbol of how the heart cannot be commanded.

Bareerah (RA) was an Arab enslaved girl to the Prophet’s ﷺ first cousin, Utbah ibn Abi Lahab who obligated her to marry a fellow slave, Mugheeth. However, Bareerah was not in support of the union. As someone who was enslaved, she had no choice but to marry Mugheeth, with whom she later bore a child. Although outwardly fulfilling her duties, her heart never found comfort in this marriage.

Longing for independence, Bareerah sought her freedom through a contract. She approached our mother Aishah (RA) hoping for help. Aishah offered to pay the full amount but Bareerah’s owners insisted they would only sell her if they kept the ‘Wala’ (inheritance rights).

When this matter reached the Prophet ﷺ, he clarified publicly:

“The ‘Wala’ belongs to the one who sets a person free.” (Bukhari)

The owners gave in, and Bareerah was freed. With freedom came a new right given to her by Islamic law: She could now choose whether to stay married or separate.

Bareerah chose to leave the marriage.

A Heartbreaking Scene in Madinah

Afterward, the noble companion Abdullah Ibn Abbas (RA) reported that he saw Mugheeth walking around behind Bareerah in the streets of Madinah crying, the tears streaming into his beard, wetting his cheeks. He strove to convince her to return to him, but she refused.

The Prophet’s uncle Abbas (RA) then asked Allah’s Messenger ﷺ to speak to Bareerah on behalf of Mugheeth.

Witnessing this, the Prophet ﷺ said:

“O ʿAbbas, are you not amazed at Mugheeth’s love for Bareerah, and her dislike for him?”

The Prophet ﷺ then went to Bareerah and said:

“Will you take him back? For he is the father of your child.”

Bareerah responded:

“Are you commanding me to do so, O Messenger of Allah?”

He ﷺ replied:

“I am merely interceding on his behalf.”

She said with clarity:

“I have no need of him.”

This scene … a man weeping in the streets, and a woman choosing her God-given right is one of the most emotionally moving accounts from the Seerah.

Love, Pain, and the Human Heart

This account of unrequited love during the time of Revelation contains profound lessons. Ibn al-Qayyim cites this narration as evidence that love is an affair of the heart, often outside one’s control.

He writes:

“The Messenger of Allah did not prohibit Mugheeth from loving Bareerah… this was something beyond his choice.”

The Prophet ﷺ did not shame Mugheeth for his sorrow. He did not tell him to “man up” or hide his tears. Instead, he interceded gently, acknowledging his pain.

Scholars like al-Sindi note that the Prophet ﷺ’s amazement shows that deep love is usually mutual, and such imbalance is rare, making the story even more striking.

Her Strength, Faith, and Obedience

While Mugheeth’s pain was real, Bareerah’s firmness was not cruelty. It was clarity.

She fulfilled the Prophet’s ﷺ request with respect, verified whether it was a command, and obeyed instantly when she learned it was not. In this, she demonstrated:

• emotional intelligence
• moral courage
• obedience to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ
• and an understanding of her rights under Islamic law

Through Islam, she rose from slavery to becoming a respected narrator of hadith, known for her reliability, strength, and dignity.

Conclusion: A Story of Compassion and Conviction

The story of Mugheeth and Bareerah is a moving account of love-lost; one that exemplifies the Prophet’s ﷺ great care and compassion. He did not rebuke his Companion for displaying his pain; instead, he attempted to intercede on his behalf. And although Bareerah had no desire to return to her former husband, she demonstrated devout obedience to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. Hence, this story teaches us sympathy for the feelings of others, as well as readiness to hear and obey our Lord’s Command.

May Allah be pleased with Bareerah (RA), have mercy on Mugheeth, and make us people of compassion, justice, and sincerity. Ameen.