Never Hurt Anyone

Kisi ka dil mat dukhao - by Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad Naqshbandi

Don’t hurt someone’s heart (feeling) a lesson given by Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad Naqshbandi reminding us how we at time neglect the rights of others around us. We should aim not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Full transcript below.

English Translation

The shaykh starts off with a few verses of a poem. He then goes on to say that Allah has created good and bad inside a person.

وَنَفۡسٍ وَّمَا سَوّٰٮهَا (٧) فَاَلۡهَمَهَا فُجُوۡرَهَا وَتَقۡوٰٮهَا(٨)

[Surah Shams ayat 7/8]

Allah has stated in the Quran
And the soul and him who made it perfect (7)
Then he inspired it to understand what is right and what is wrong (8)


He further goes on to say that if a person is in bad company then he will turn out to be bad and if a person is in good company he will turn out to be good. The shaykh moves on to say that a true mu’min (believer) is that person through whom no one is hurt, neither through his tongue nor his hands. The shaykh says notice how in the Hadith the word ‘tongue’ comes before the word hands. Muhadditheen have said that this is because for one to harm another person with his hands he has to be strong. Whereas on the other hand, for one to harm another with their tongue i.e. to hurt their feelings by saying something bad to them, a person doesn’t have to be strong. A small child can say something bad to his elders, he doesn’t have to necessarily be physically strong.  Another explanation is that for someone to harm another person he has to be present. You cannot harm someone if you’re in England and he in the US. Meanwhile to harm someone with your tongue you do not have to be present. You can be in England but you can still harm someone with your tongue in the US via the telephone. The shaykh further says that the worst illnesses are the illnesses of the heart. He was once reading a book in which he read that in the future robots are going to be made that will be better than humans. They will be stronger and won’t get tired. The author then describes an imaginary scene, that on the day of Qiyaamah Allah will call the robot maker forward and he will present his product and say that they are better than humans. Allah will point out a fault and the shaft will break. All the other robots will carry on doing what they were doing. Then Allah will call upon two humans and one of them will have a stomach ache and complain and the other human will respond and come towards him asking him of his difficulty. Then Allah will say to the robot maker that one of your robots broke and it never made a difference to the others but when one of my slaves get hurt, straight away another of my slaves will also feel the pain. The robot maker will say indeed the human is the best of creation. Although this is a mere imaginary scene the point the shaykh is making that the major difference between humans and machines is that humans sympathise whereas machines do not. So if a human loses his ability to sympathise, what’s the difference between him and a robot?  Another point the shaykh makes, is that Allah mentions in the Quran in Surah Humazah:

وَيۡلٌ۬ لِّڪُلِّهُمَزَةٍ۬ لُّمَزَةٍ (١)

[Surah Humazah ayat 1]

  “Woe to every slanderer and backbiter”.


Allah curses those who find faults in others and reveal other people’s faults. The shaykh also says that hurting people’s feelings is a really bad thing. The shaykh goes to the extent to say that if someone prays his Salah in one of the back rows  (with the intention that if he tries to go into one of the first rows he might hurt someone) then he will still get the reward of praying in the first row. Another example he gives is of a leaper, a person who has white patches over his body, and he prays his Salah at home (with the intention that someone might feel ill seeing him) he will get the reward of praying his Salah in the masjid. People do tend to get ill when they see something or someone in a really bad condition. One more example that is given is that of a mechanic who works with cars. He smells of petrol or diesel. If he goes to the masjid those present will be disturbed by his smell so the sharia (Islamic law) has disallowed him to go the masjid in such a state. How good is the shariah (Islamic law). The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him has mentioned in a hadeeth that people who have eaten raw onions or garlic should not come to the masjid. The smell of their breath might cause some sort of discomfort to someone praying next to them.


The shaykh further goes on to say that it is stated in a hadith that someone who sells something to another person by being dishonest to him or cheating him is not from amongst us i.e. the Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was once lying down next to Hazrat Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her). Hazrat Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) noticed him quietly getting out of bed and walking bare feet. She inquired as to why he did that. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that he thought she was asleep so as not to disturb her, he got up quietly. Just look at how much respect he had. Even we should take care of not disturbing our wife whilst she is resting.


The shaykh tells a story of Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him). He once came to Hazrat Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him). At the time, Hazrat Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) was the khalifa. He saw a list of people that needed help in the community either because they were handicapped, old or for any other reason. Next to them were people who had offered to help them. At that time people would take it an obligation upon themselves to help people like that. He saw the list and whilst he was looking further down he saw a women’s name and there wasn’t a name next to hers. He put his name down and took her address. At that time they use to help by sweeping the house, washing the dishes and carrying water from the well to the house. So he knocked on her door after Fajr and told her he had come to help. She said that someone had already come and helped her. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was amazed, someone helps her and doesn’t even write their name on the list. Is that how sincere he is? The next day he came after Tahajjud prayers, a little earlier than Fajr and this time he received the same reply that someone had already come and helped out. He asked her as to whom he was. She said that she didn’t even know. Every day he would come and tell her to go behind a curtain (observe Hijab) and he would do all the chores and before leaving he would tell her and then leave. She hadn’t even asked him his name nor did she see who he was. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was shocked. The next day he went after Isha and stood near her house to see who the person was. After some time he saw a person walking towards her house. He quickly got up and asked the person his name to which he got the reply “I am Abu Bakr”. At that time Hazrat Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) wasn’t even wearing any slippers or sandals so Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) asked him why. He said that he was afraid that someone’s sleep might be ruined by the noise of his slippers.


Another story the shaykh mentions is that Hazrat Umar’s (May Allah be pleased with him) slave Aslam said that once my master said to me that we have seen Madinah, so let’s go and see how the outskirts are. They were walking and in the distance they saw a caravan sleeping. As they came closer they saw a woman with a pot on top of fire and children next to her crying. He came over to her and with extreme care and kindness asked her as to what she was doing. She said I am a widow and we do not have any food. My children are crying out of hunger. In this pot is some water. The children think that food is cooking so they will soon go to sleep. That’s how the night will be spent. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) thought to himself self, is it so, I am the Khalifa and this happens in my land. He quickly got up with his slave and they both went to the Bait Ul Maal (Public Treasury). They took a bag of flour, some clarified butter and some honey. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) told his slave Aslam to carry the honey and butter as they were light and said he would carry the flour himself. Aslam said that he could carry it, to which Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) said ‘Aslam, you will not carry my burden on the day of Qiyaamah. This is my responsibility so I have to carry this.’ Aslam says that it was a long walk back and I could see Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) in pain whilst he was walking. When they reached the tent, they told the woman what they had bought. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) told her to wash the pot and he ignited the fire. He was blowing on the wood and the dust was going into his eyes, giving him extreme pain and making his eyes water but still he did it himself and lit the fire. They emptied the contents into the pot and the woman cooked a sweet dish. She gave it to her children to eat after cooling it. When the children ate they became happy and started to play. Aslam asked Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) if they could go because they had accomplished their task. But Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) replied no. Aslam says that I saw Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) watching the children for a long time then he said let’s go. On the way back Aslam asked Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) about why he watched the children for a long time. Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) said that he had seen the children cry and his heart desired to see the same children happy and smiling.


Overall, in the whole bayaan, the point the shaykh made is that you shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

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